Moving Mountains Episode 2

So, I haven't fallen off the bandwagon, I was just without internet at home for a few days! But it's all fixed.

I think I get to earn some serious street cred. I ran 4 miles, in the ran, after wearing dress shoes all day. 4 miles is a personal best for me. Real runners run in the rain. Therefore, I am declaring myself a real runner. Go me!

It's been an interesting few days. I am officially off the vegan diet, and tried eating a half turkey sandwhich the other day. My tummy hurt for quite awhile. I may have jumped into the dairy & meat thing too quickly. For now, it's mostly vegetarian. I think I will feel much much better that way.

My thoughts lately are everywhere. I keep feeling like I am hitting a wall in my personal life, and keep getting overwhelmed by the enormity of this health journey, and living life for the here and now, and still maintaing goals for the future. It seems like I am fighting a uphill battle with lots of road blocks in the way.

The Bible says: " truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20. (I have previously blogged on this verse, but it's still hanging with me, so I am going to continue to blog about it.) No circumstance in my life, no struggle in my life, no mountain in my life has ever moved, or fixed itself, because I wanted it to. I have had to go through the journey. I have had to wait for the mountain to move, and it's never been instant.

I was watching footage again the other day on the continued aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and am always amazed at the massive amount of destruction. I wonder what destruction weighs in the background of a crumbling mountain. What if the instant I pray, God's answers and begins to have the mountain crumble, but it's crumbling on the OTHER SIDE? And I just cannot see it...yet. As, I see the destruction that lays in the aftermath of natural disasters, I am convinced that as God is moving mountains in my life, and things are crumbling...there's an aftermath.

The roadblocks in life exist to prevent us from walking through the the avalanches that come from the mountains moving and crumbling. What seems to be the lack of God's activity to move the mountain, is really just a holding pattern as He clears away the debris of things that could cause further damage to our souls. God's promise to us is that as He's moving, as He's calling us to work on our goals, He won't lose us in them. He won't lose us in the aftermath. Sometimes He calls us to walk through the crumbling around us. Other times, He safely puts out His hand and stops us from going any further as He cleans house.

This is the journey I am on. It's one of learning and growth. It's a physical journey that has been really hard. Those four miles I ran, I cried the last mile. I was in pain, my lower back currently has ice on it as I sit and type this. The emotions of realizing I was going to hit my four mile mark, made me excited, and triumphant, and exhausted. Exhaustion is emotional, because it shows me, just what I am made of. It shows me my limits, it shows me my weaknesses, and that is okay. In my weakness God is made strong.

I cried that last mile, because I knew, I had reached a point of no return. I had reached a point of no longer thinking and every single emotion I have felt over the last several weeks came crashing in, and down. I realized that God, will not lose me in this journey. He loves me and will move on behalf. I just need to tuck in close.